Lessons from my One year old

Time to start a new day! Been up for a bit, older one off to school and now I can settle my baby, Shyam down to sleep so I can do ALL those VERY important things that keep me so busy.So we snuggle in, I am breastfeeding him and he is dosing off, needs a little bit of rocking and he relaxes, suckling occassionally and sleeping. Aaaah. My mind is a bit busy as there are a few things I need to do. Though I have stopped working full-time I have many projects, connections and plans to make happen! I have stopped working to spend more time with him. 

But he wouldn’t let me go! I couldn’t wriggle out of his latch! And eventually when I did – he would rouse and cry until I came back to him!  

So I lay back down, grabbed a book and read and allowed myself to relax. And as I read and allowed myself to relax….some pearls of wisdom came to me from this little snuggly baby boy alongside me! I was reading about the importance of meditation (focus and being in the present moment) specifically during pregnancy. I started realising my false need to be busy. What is more important than this? Being – just being – with my growing young baby! And while I am doing this and stroking his long beautiful and very straight blond hair, and he is having the occassional sleep twitch….and then suckling again – never letting go….I realised I am sharing my love, acceptance and joy of being with him..and he is receiving these OH SO IMPORTANT vibes, energies, exchanges, hormones – and feeling LOVED, ACCEPTED, VALUED and TREASURED! And that makes him feel GOOOOOD! it builds his feeling of security! It adds to his sense of belonging and trust! 

And he is teaching me – to chill, relax, giving me a bit of me-time, to rest, let-go and experience this love too. OH MY GOSH!! How special is that? This little bundle knows exactly how to teach me these pearls of wisdom, these treasures of insight. People pay thousands to learn to meditate on these pure and simple life values. I have studied too many years at university, spent years in an ashrama, travelled many places – and here was the most perfect lesson from my baby.

Allowing me to relax – and just BE!  

Letting go of all my fantasy pressure to do and mail and perform and come up with so many things that I believe would prove my value. And I needed to just BE with him. What is more important than showing your child that he is worth your time?

You see – what was happening was that – by relaxing and letting myself lie and actually be present with my baby. And then by actually breastfeeding him as well as stroking and looking at him…my hormones started working. Behind all this is very clever biology. My oxytocin started flowing and my feeling of being in love, satisfied, secure and in loved company kicked in. I started feeling so content and blissful because this is what happens – when you allow it too! 

Not only was it working that way for me but actually Shyam’s oxytocin was also flowing and having enormous beneficial affects on his neurodevelopment. On his emotional development – on his stage of developing a sense of VALUE and TRUST. This was all kicking in behind the scenes of me just feeling so satisfied and grateful in the moment. 

“During breastfeeding or suckling, maternal oxytocin levels are raised by somatosensory stimulation…Positive social interactions have been related to health-promoting effects. Oxytocin released in response to social stimuli may be part of a neuroendocrine substrate which underlies the benefits of positive social experiences. Such processes may in addition explain the health-promoting effects of certain alternative therapies. Because of the special properties of oxytocin, including the fact that it can become conditioned to psychological state or imagery, oxytocin may also mediate the benefits attributed to therapies such as hypnosis or meditation.”

Oxytocin may mediate the benefits of positive social interaction and emotions.

Uvnäs-Moberg K.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9924739

I missed it with my older one – as from 1 years old I dashed out every morning to university and came back tired, drained and needy. We definitely made up for this by lots of after-hours snuggling and wonderful holidays and weekends for many years and still!

By circumstances I can spend more time with my little baby now and stay in gratitude for this! Instead of feeling I should be doing SO much more to be allowed to stay home. And then I remember again – OH MY….What can be MORE important than spending this time with my boy?

My baby continues to bring my heart right out and onto my sleeve! Thank you precious boy and may this truth stay with me.