Some of my reflections on being Sacred – in writing or in real daily life?
I really love writing. I have so many ideas and I often lie down staring into the darkness, while breastfeeding a baby back to sleep, with a blog reeling away in my mind – with nowhere to put it down. Audio recording would disturb the silence, I have tried a notebook in the park, just really too tired to do extra late nights – and anyway they get disturbed.
Actually there are so many blogs out there now saying the same and important things about life, love and living – babies and growing. But I find writing healing for me and a gut creativity I like to do. Still I would love if my experiences and real-life stories that have impacted me and grown me – even the everyday beings and then the bigger ones too – could perhaps inspire, touch, remind someone else too about – the importance of being You or just remembering that we are so much of Being Sacred in just that……. Being.
But my life keeps me humble.
Actually the point of this blog was intended to highlight my thoughts of how much time I could spend reading articles, blogposts, status’, how much time I could spend doing and creating and producing something at the end of the day to validate my value, to have something to show for all my day’s efforts – but in truth I am finding that that is all taking away valuable time from being exquisitely present in being my truth – and standing in my sacred realm in relating and maintaining my tribelet at home. I am expressing this to take any of this illusory pressure off myself – and for the ego it pursuits – and give myself permission to honour those moments each and every moment – daily – in being so finely present in sacred gratitude with my loved ones. With really nothing much at all to show for it – well, with physical eyes that is.
I want to write and share my thoughts, my studies and my experiences with women, saints, babies and life which lead me to have deep connections and celebrations and challenges of living an authentic heart-led life.
I want to write about the beautiful and incredible women who touch me and need to be written about – including my beloved mother, who left this world over 2 years ago during my pregnancy; about the special couple who I have been so privileged to walk with as we faced a stillbirth and recovery afterwards; about the mother saint who came into our lives and left so many deep impressions that have altered my daily life profoundly – deepening my practical and philosophical understanding of what truly being a Sacred mother and woman is – and how profoundly important it is to our communities!
I read about the sisterhood of motherhood and the vaccine wars…..I spend my days watching my 2 year old grow, complain and love life; I get a snippet of my 9 years old growths and changes as he becomes older and wiser! I go through all the emotions and frustrations of being at home and not “achieving” anything – and then I remember – and then I hear bits of a webinar of conscious parenting – and I remember again!!!
I spent my government service in the hospital writing the stories of my daily interactions with life and death, patients and their loved ones – in my head – driving home on the curves of beautiful Garden Route mountains or alongside the township of Khayelitsha. So profoundly moving – such real life – too much real life everyday.
I want to write about the amazing herbs and holistic approaches to healing that I am learning more and more about ; so many of our women face challenges and dis-eases.
Then I miss medicine….oh yes! Even that emergency red trauma resuscitation! And I miss those night calls – and then I remember how much I missed my family those nights…. I want to be more! I want to do less! I want to be…
So I don’t get to write those posts, I don’t get to teach the most beautiful connecting with your baby meditation process, I don’t get to do the profound and deep sacred postpartum binding and mother healing I have also studied since – as much as I would love to.
Because … I am too busy being. Being mother, being wife, being woman, being. And at the same time trying to remember and deeply honour the spiritual purpose for all of this and connect with this at every moment.
So I can’t offer a regular post – though I would love to! And I don’t do much else either – because I am giving my energy and time to my growing family. Finally. It doesn’t make me better. This is just my path. But I love that feeling when you are following your heart – and it feels so right.
Yip – most of that means getting down and playing dirty with an incredible blessing in a body of a 2 year old!! And some deep philosophical debates and basic arguments with a strong willed 9 year old!